It's All Coming Back To Me Now
by pealee
Summary: Cowritten with SammyGirl001, How will Sam react to Jack and Anne? Will real love conqure lust? Totally JS!


Hello everyone. This story was co written by me and Sammy-Girl001

Sammy-Girl's A/N: Thanks to Diane for the really, really fast beta-read and of course, thanks to Kimberly. I had a great time writing this with you. I sure hope our next story will be just as much fun, but no doubt there Everyone else, have fun reading!

Pealee's A/N: A big thank you to Diane! To Steffi: I love writing with you. I had a blast with this story and I can't wait to start on the next. To our readers: thank you for reading and please review. As always enjoy

Of course we don't own WaT or its characters. If we did Jack and Sam would have been together a long time ago.

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

Dragging her tired body into another seemingly just as uncomfortable position, Samantha Spade sighed. Glancing at the alarm clock on her nightstand, she furrowed her brows as the neon green numbers hauntingly stared back at her. 3:36 a.m. She uttered another sigh, which turned more into a frustrated groan. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get the picture of them out of her head. Why did she have to walk to her car in just that moment? Why did she have to look in just that direction? Why were they kissing in just that minute? Why, why, why? Flinging her right arm over her eyes, she pressed her eyes tightly shut, trying to keep the inevitable tears at bay. But it was no use. The only thing that shattered the silence and darkness of the bedroom was the heart wrenching sobs coming from the bed…

Samantha tossed and turned all night, praying for the day to come. She had no idea that the weeks ahead would kill her more inside than the long, cold, lonely night. As Samantha approached her desk, the only person in the office was Jack. She wanted to turn around and run for the bathroom fearing that she would throw up the half-eaten apple she had for breakfast. All she could see were Jack and Anne. The image would not leave her mind. She sat down at her desk, ignoring Jack as he said "Morning." Keeping her eyes fixed onto a file on her desk, she swallowed hard. "Morning," she just muttered and could literally feel his eyes boring into her back. Sam closed her eyes when his deep voice gently asked, "Is everything alright, Sam?" God, he hadn't called her Sam in a very long time. She hadn't noticed how much she missed it, until now. Samantha sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly, her back still to him. "I'm fine, Jack. Don't you have work to do, or something?" The words had barely left her mouth as she winced to herself. They had come out more rudely than she had intended them to. She waited for him to snap at her or anything else along those lines, but nothing came, and she had the feeling he just took her bad temper, because he knew she had a bad night's sleep. So, as he turned around wordlessly to go back into his office, her shoulders slumped slightly. She had hoped for him to say something, because she had the incredible urge to get into a fight. She had to let her frustrations out on something or someone and who would be more suited than him?

The day went on very slowly for Samantha. No new cases, just piles of paperwork. She worked steadily. Whenever she stopped, even to get coffee, the imagines of last night came flooding back. 'Why?' she thought to herself. Why was it that when he was married she was  
single? Then he got divorced and she was with Martin. Now, now she is alone and Jack has Anne. She wanted to be mad; she wanted to yell at him. But she realized that she did the same thing to him. She never told Jack about Martin. It was her biggest fear when he  
found out. Now she wondered if she was going through what Jack may have, when he found out about her and Martin. She saw that she was done with her pile of paperwork. All she had to do was get herself up and walk into Jack's office and turn in the paperwork. An easy task, one that she'd done countless times before. But for some reason today she was afraid to even look at Jack, let alone be confined in his office with no one else around. On unsteady legs, she slowly walked to his office, the file with her paperwork clutched to her  
chest. When she lifted her hand to knock on his door, she noticed it was trembling slightly.  
Samantha groaned, annoyed with herself. Taking a steadying breath, she finally got her hand to knock. "Come in!" Jack called, without even looking up. Sam suppressed the desire to roll her eyes. "Here's my report, Jack," she said and put the file onto his desk. "I'm out then," she added and turned around. The doorknob was already in her hand, when she heard him call her name. The doorknob slid out of her grip again and she glanced over her shoulder, lifting a  
questioning eyebrow at him. "Yes?" He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at her. "You weren't quite yourself today. Are you sure everything is all right? You know you can talk to me, don't you?" She nearly laughed at the irony of it all. What was she supposed to say? 'No, nothing's alright, because I saw you and your best friend's widow kissing in the garage, and I wish like hell I hadn't seen any of this, because it hurt and I still love you and...' His voice brought her back to reality again. "Sam?" She hadn't noticed that she had been staring at a spot on the wall opposite her and that he was now standing directly in front of her. Close. Too close for comfort. "Fine, I'm fine!" she stuttered quickly and cursed the tone her voice had adapted in that moment. He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off. "I'm fine!" she said again hastily before turning on her heel and nearly running out of his office. Jack was left standing where he was, staring at the spot she had vacated only seconds before, confused as hell and with furrowed eyebrows.

'What was that about?' he thought and shook his head slightly. 'Now I' m absolutely convinced that I'll never understand women.'

Hastily grabbing her coat and purse, Samantha threw a 'bye' over her shoulder and raced to the elevators, ignoring the curious looks she got from her teammates as she did so.

Hitting the elevator button repeatedly with her forefinger, she cursed under her breath at herself, at Jack, at the elevator and at the whole world. Sam breathed a sigh of relief as the doors in front of her finally opened and she could step inside the small carriage. She watched the doors sliding shut again, then closed her eyes and wished nothing more than to be in her bed now and curl up under the covers, away from the rest of the world.

Her thoughts of hating the world and curling up in bed were interrupted with the 'ding' of the elevator doors opening. It was a chilly night and she wrapped her coat more tightly around her. She hailed a taxi and after 20 minutes, arrived at her apartment. She walked in, threw her coat and purse on the sofa and grabbed a soda out of the fridge. She flopped down on the couch and pulled her favorite blanket over her.

At 3:00 in the morning she was awakened from her deep sleep by a knock on the door. Samantha was amazed that she fell asleep so quickly and was even more amazed that someone was banging on her door at 3:00 in the morning. She walked sleepily to the door and was shocked to see who was standing on the other side when she opened it.

"Jack?" she gasped and tried to decide whether she was still dreaming or not. But when she let his appearance sink in, she knew she wasn't. His hair was tousled, his shirt stuck haphazardly into his jeans and he had dark rings under his eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked confused and just then noticed that he was still standing in the corridor at 3:00 in the morning.

After she stepped aside and ushered him inside, she repeated her question, but at first got no answer. Jack just stared at her, seemingly deep in thought. Sam raised her eyebrow at him, wondering if she should call someone. Who, she wasn't sure, but she had the feeling that the guys with the straitjacket would be a good choice right about now.

"Jack, what's going on? You okay?" She half expected no answer from him again, but he surprised her when he suddenly blurted out, "I just kept rolling around in bed and couldn't keep my eyes shut, or my thoughts from running. I absolutely have no idea what's the  
matter with you, Sam! Why were you even more distant today than before?" 

Samantha stood there, shocked. She couldn't speak. It was now Jack's turn to get a reaction out of her. "Samantha... Samantha." Hearing Jack say her full first name, she shuttered and forced herself to look him in the eye. "I... I don't know what you're talking about, Jack." Even as she said it, she knew that Jack knew she was lying. "You won't talk to me; look me in  
the eye, what's going on Sam? And I want the truth." 

Something inside Samantha snapped at that moment. "Why, why the hell do you even care? I'm surprised you even noticed I'm still on the team. I mean you're too busy sticking your tongue down Anne's throat." 'Did I just say that?' She looked at the expression on Jack's face. 'Oh, yeah, I did' Jack was clearly shocked by Sam's truthfulness. "Sam, I didn't…I didn't know how to tell you. And besides you never told me about you and Martin."

"I thought you were gone, Jack, and I'd really like you to be gone now, so leave." Jack just stood there as Samantha retreated to her bedroom and shut the door. Feeling like someone ripped his chest open, ripped his heart out and handed it back to him, he himself retreated and left Samantha's apartment. Neither of them knew the other was wiping tears from their faces.

A week had passed since their argument and neither Sam nor Jack had made a move to try and talk about what had happened. The team had already noticed the obvious discomfort between the two of them, but didn't know what to make of it.

At half past noon on a Wednesday, Sam's bad mood worsened, as she saw Anne making a beeline for Jack's office. A mixture of sigh and groan escaped her throat. That was just what she needed today. In the following 15 minutes, she kept throwing glances in their direction, able to make out their outlines through the drawn curtains. It looked remarkably like they were arguing. Sam's brows furrowed. "Well, what could that be about?" she muttered to herself, her report long forgotten.

Fifteen minutes had passed and Samantha was still unable to concentrate on her report because Anne had yet to leave Jack's office. She wanted so badly for them to be fighting. 'Maybe they're breaking up,' she thought to herself. And a sly smile spread across her face. Her head turned towards Jack's office when she heard his door opening and Anne leaving, looking very upset. Samantha couldn't help but feel satisfied on the inside but at the same time felt bad for wishing Jack anymore pain than he'd already been through. She forced herself to get back to her report.

A couple hours later Jack retreated from his office, looking as if the world weighed on his shoulders. "Hey, guys, how's the paperwork going?"

"Oh, just so much great fun, Jack," Danny answered with his sly smile.

"Well I don't want to break up all the fun but… umm… I need Samantha. I need you to come with me to the courthouse to sign those affidavits from the  
Williams' case."

"Oh, ok, yeah, right. I kinda forgot. Yeah. ok. Just give a minute, ok?"

"Yeah sure; meet me at the car."

Samantha, all of a sudden, became very nervous and she knew it showed. The courthouse would be at least an hour's drive this time of day in rush hour.

'How am I gonna survive an hour alone in an inescapable space with Jack?' Sam thought to herself as she rode the elevator to the parking garage.

A few minutes later Samantha was rattled from her deep thoughts when Jack slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. "Damn this traffic!" Jack practically yelled. Samantha jumped in her seat.

"Christ, Jack, you don't have to yell! It's rush hour what the hell do you expect in New York City at this time?"

Jack didn't respond. He saw how she jumped at his little outburst and he wondered what she was thinking about. He just had to get the courage to ask her, which wasn't coming easily. He was tired, very tired. He hadn't slept a wink since he went to Samantha's apartment and he found out she knew about Anne. His lack of sleep and moodiness didn't go unnoticed by Anne. She was bugging him, nagging at him just as Maria used to. She was driving him nuts. He couldn't stand it anymore and he told her so today just hours before in his office.

Samantha was being suffocated in the silence of the car. She couldn't stand the deafening silence anymore and reached over to turn on the radio. As her hand was about to make contact with the radio dial, Jack grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Samantha, startled,  
looked up at him but he kept his eyes on the road and turned into a deserted parking lot. They were nowhere near the courthouse.

Sam glanced wearily out of the passenger's window, then back at Jack with a questioning look in her eyes. "What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously. "What I should have been doing all of last week," he answered calmly and looked her straight in the eye. "Talk it out."

Sam's eyebrow lifted involuntarily. "Talk it out? Well, you sure picked the right time to do that," she stated sarcastically. "You remember we are supposed to be in court, right?"

Jack sighed slightly frustrated at her unwillingness to cooperate, but then just said, "Yeah," before silently pleading with her to talk to him.

Sam diverted her eyes from his face, not able to stand the look he was giving her. After a minute, which seemed to both like a lifetime, she finally found words to speak.

"Look, Jack...there is nothing to talk about. We are not an item anymore, and to be honest, we never were. It is none of my business who you date, really. You are with Anne now, and that is fine with me." Sam winced inwardly at herself. God, what a horrible liar she was. He knew it, she knew it.

But no matter how obvious it was, neither one knew what to do or say about it at the moment.

So the silence settled over them again, until it was shattered by the ringing of a cell phone.

"Hello," Jack answered his cell with a tone that was half annoyance, half angry. "What? No I'm not gonna be there till late. Why? Because I'm stuck in downtown rush hour traffic, that's why. Look I'm sorry. Yeah, well maybe you're right, yeah, yeah fine." And Jack slammed the cell phone shut and looked out the window. Samantha figured it was Anne on the other line and could tell from the one-sided conversation that they were definitely fighting.

After yet another silence, Jack put the keys in the ignition and pulled out into traffic once again.

The following day Jack came in, looking gruff and had an attitude towards his agents or anyone else that bugged him. Samantha, on the other hand, was completely tired. She didn't sleep a wink the night before, her conversation with Jack replaying in her mind all night long. Her tiredness showed in her work. She fell asleep during her car ride with Danny to talk to a witness in the case they were currently working. Danny seemed worried, but knew Samantha well enough that she wouldn't talk about it.

Later that evening as Samantha was leaving the office, she got the unpleasant pleasure of sharing an elevator with Anne.

"So I guess you will be meeting with Jack since we finished the case early," Samantha asked in an innocent tone.

Anne looked down at the floor and after a moment replied, "No, we broke up. It just, you know, wasn't working out." As Anne finished, the elevator doors opened and Anne was gone. And Samantha was certain she saw a glisten of tears in her eyes. Samantha couldn't believe it. They actually broke up? Samantha was feeling angry and happy and feeling confused as she hit the elevator button to floor 12. When the doors opened to the 12th floor, Samantha walked straight to Jack's office. She barged in and with Jack just staring back at her, she thought to herself 'Now what do I do?'

"You ok, Samantha? You look flushed."

"No, I…umm…. I was in the elevator with Anne and I don't know why I'm here right now."

"Oh. Wanna have dinner?" Jack answered very calmly and as if nothing was wrong.

Samantha looked at him, unsure of what was going on. "Dinner, me and you?"

"Yeah, well it's not brain surgery or anything."

Both slightly laughed.

"How about Chinese?" Jack asked, leading Sam out of the office.

"Sure," And they both walked towards the elevator, Sam thinking 'What the hell is going on?' and Jack thinking 'Well at least she didn't yell at me.' They were making progress.

They arrived at the small and cozy restaurant half an hour later and Samantha recognized it as the one they had preferred during their..._relationship_. She still couldn't bring herself to call it an affair.

After finding a free parking spot for the car, Jack wasted no time in getting out and hurrying over to her side, helping her all gentleman-like out of the car. Sam had to stifle a laugh. She had nearly forgotten how cute he could be sometimes.

And she had nearly forgotten the electrical shock that went through her body every time he touched her. Not that she was complaining, though…not at all.

They entered the restaurant after Jack held open the door for her. When the host asked how many and if they would prefer a booth or table, Jack asked for the small booth in the very back. Private. As they walked to the small table in the back, Samantha's hands started to sweat and many butterflies started dancing in her stomach. They sat down and for a short while neither talked. The server came and went with their drink and dinner order. Another silence.

"Ok, you gonna say something?" Samantha asked as she nervously took a sip of her margarita.

"I just wanted to tell you about Anne."

"Well there isn't much to say, Jack."

"Yeah, yeah there is. After Max and my dad died…. I just, I don't know. She was there."

"I was there, Jack. I never left."

"I know. I was scared. I didn't want to burden you."

"You were never a burden, Jack."

The server came and gave them their dinners.

"Yours looks good, Sam"

"Yeah, well yours looks gross. I don't even want to know what you ordered," Sam said, giving a small smile.

"So lady-like Sam, thank you."

They shared a small smile. And as Jack began to eat, Samantha just looked at him. Jack began to feel her intense stare.

"What, I got food on my face?" Jack asked with a coy smile.

"You can't wait for me to find out you dumped her, then take me to the same restaurant we went to when we were together and act like nothing ever happened. It doesn't work that way, Jack. I'm not a puppet on a string."

"I know"

"Well what do you want?"

"I wanna try again. I missed you. I missed _'us'_."

Samantha stared at him for a moment, before finally letting a heavy sigh escape through her lips.

"I missed you, too. And I missed 'us', but it's not that easy, Jack. It never was with us," she said, a sad look crossing her face.

Keeping her eyes locked to his, she took another sip of her drink, leaving her food untouched.

His eyes shifted subtly from her eyes to her lips as her tongue darted out between them to catch an errant drop. She heard him stifle a groan, before he hastily turned his attention to his dinner.

After a second, a small smile spread across her lips and she finally followed his example and took the first bite of her sesame noodles.

A few minutes later, he broke the silence and softly uttered, "We can always try to make it easy, Sam."

Her gaze remained locked on her plate, while she blinked away the tears, which suddenly blurred her vision.

Jack noticed Samantha's eyes welling up with tears.

"Hey, we will figure this out. I promise," he said softly as he reached for her hand.

"I don't know, Jack… I'm feeling a little queasy. I think I need some air." She ran outside and Jack quickly followed.

"You ok?"

"Not great, but the fresh air helped. I don't think I can eat right now, though.

With a small smile, Jack answered, "Well I'll get our food wrapped up and pay and I'll take you home. Ok?"

"Yeah, whatever."

As Jack walked back inside, she thought to herself, '_Well this couldn't get any more embarrassing.'_

When Jack came back, he had a bag of leftovers and helped Samantha up from the pavement.

"You ok?"

"You keep asking me that, and it's gonna be me here in a minute asking "Are _you_ ok?"

Jack gave a small laugh to himself at Samantha's smart comment.

"Come on, let's call it a night." And Jack opened the front passenger door for Samantha. Once at Samantha's apartment, an awkward silence hung over the two.

"Would you like some coffee? I mean it's the least I could offer since I, you know, ruined your dinner," Samantha asked, part nervous, part still embarrassed.

"Yeah, coffee sounds nice. I didn't get to order dessert," Jack said, giving Samantha an evil grin.

"Not funny, Agent Malone."

And Jack followed Samantha up to her apartment.

When they reached her door, she fiddled with the keys, sighing in relief as the door finally opened with a gentle shove of her hand. Stepping inside and making room for him to follow, she waited until he had discarded his jacked and she took it from him, draping it over a chair, then made her way to her kitchen. She felt him following closely behind her and suppressed a shudder of pleasure from the warmth she could feel radiating off him.

After preparing the coffee, she turned around and leaned against the counter, her gaze searching for his. His soft, warm eyes sparkled in the dim light from the living room and her breath caught in her throat. God, how she had missed that look.

She held her breath as he closed the small distance between them, his body nearly touching hers, but not quite. Sam was dimly aware of the coffeemaker doing some gurgling sounds, and of the thudding of her heart. It was pounding so loud in her ears that she was sure old Mr. Briggs, one floor beneath hers, could hear it without his hearing aid.

Then she could only see Jack's handsome face an inch in front of hers and feel his warm breath on her face, and her eyelids fluttered involuntarily shut.

After that, everything else was shoved into the background, besides the sweet taste of his lips on hers and the feel of his strong arms holding her tightly against his chest.

Samantha couldn't help but let out a small groan when Jack parted her lips with his tongue. She willingly let him explore her mouth like it was their first kiss. Samantha's hands went around Jack's neck and he pulled her body closer to his. Jack was savoring this moment as if it was his last. Taking it slow. He didn't want to rush her and ruin this moment he had wanted for so long. When Jack's brain started yelling for air, he slowed the kiss and just let his lips lightly touch hers. They rested their foreheads together. When Jack made eye contact with Samantha, she burst into laughter.

Pulling slightly away to look at her, Jack had a stunned look upon his face "What?"

As her eyes were welling with tears, she said, "I never thought I'd feel that again."

"Me neither," he said with a slight chuckle. And he kissed her lightly. "We'll take it slow you know. Get to know each other again. I don't want to screw this up. I need you too much."

Samantha let a tear slide down her cheek and Jack gently wiped it away and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Please stay with me. Just hold me tonight," Samantha whispered in his ear.

"Of course, no place I would rather be, Samantha," he whispered just as softly. Gently untangling their arms, Jack then took her hand and she followed him to her bedroom.

After stripping to their underwear, they crawled under the covers and Sam snuggled into Jack's arms, smiling at the feeling of familiarity that shot through her body.

They lay in content silence for a few moments, until Sam murmured, "Jack? I'm glad you asked me out for dinner."

He chuckled at this. "Me too. Believe me."

Another silence followed, and Jack assumed that Sam had drifted off to sleep, but then she spoke again.

"Jack?"

"Mmhmm?"

"I love you."

His heart seemed to stop its work for a moment, but then it nearly burst with happiness.

A smile lit up his face, as he told her what he should have told her a long time ago.

"I love you, too."

He heard her sigh happily and a minute later, her breathing told him that Morpheus had welcomed her into his arms.

Not much sooner, he followed.

As the sun rose, Samantha made coffee. She let Jack sleep and she went out on her balcony to think, wrapping herself in a warm blanket, to protect her barely dressed skin from the chilly morning wind.

Inside Jack was beginning to stir. "Sam," he said, rolling over to see the empty space that she had been occupying hours earlier. He sat up quickly and said her name again only a little louder. Still no answer. His heart rate quickened, scared that she had left him to awake alone. He grabbed his pants and shirt and put them on quickly, before going into the kitchen and smelling the freshly made coffee. That's when he saw the shadowed outline of her still body sitting on her balcony. He breathed a sigh of relief. '_She's here. She has no reason to leave,'_ Jack thought to himself as he walked onto the balcony.

"Good morning, sunshine," he said and leaned down to softly kiss her pink lips.

"Hmmm, good morning to you to. How'd you slept?" she said, getting up and letting Jack sit in the chair so he could hold her.

"Prefect, because I was wrapped up with the most amazing, beautiful woman I have ever seen," he said as he pulled her close into his arms.

"Suck up," Samantha said with a chuckle.

"Did it work is what matters, Agent Spade?"

"Only coming from you, Agent Malone."

And they sat on the balcony and watched the world go by. Together.

-Fin- Please Review


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